well, some things i wish i could say it in explicitly but it's always better not to.

i just feel that life is REALLY REALLY REALLY short. especially after helping out with the police hearse for 2 shifts. saw two young people pass on due to unnatural causes. NOT GOOD.

there's this overlooked level of stress instilled in our teenagers nowadays. pressure of parents, money and of the society.
parents for their expectations of you, money for your own survival, and of course the social expectations and influence.

well, to me, parents definitely put pressure on kids. i would too if i were a parent, just that i may not realise it. but even so, none of us would think that our parents put such pressure on us so that we will not turn out like them or someone that they do not wish to see. correct, its a selfish part on their side. but isn't it for the better good of us? i hated my parents, i still hate them. but that does not mean i do not love them. some times we still hate our parents for being the ever naggy character they are in your life. but then these nags are the small little things that you will definitely miss when they are no longer around. so while i hate them, i try to think on the brighter side of these naggings. thought probably there's only so much i can squeeze out as a child.

money;
ah, my favourite topic. and many people's best friend. this world now, no money, no talk. that's quite true. but some people earn money with talk! so why can't we? learn of ways to do so. confident speech is extremely important regardless of where you are. for all you might know, while doing part time at your neighbourhood store, you might be able to leave a good impression on your future employer who is from a big company! if it is to happen, it will.
money is something that stresses everyone. sure, no money = die. but think for yourself. do you REALLY need that much to actually SURVIVE? and what i mean by that is just basic survival. sure you may be a Uni Grad, but a PSLE grad raking in more cash by doing odd jobs than you sitting at home whining about low pay or sucky job scope at every other job ad. get a job that can tide you over without having to drag your feet to work, and then slowly move up the financial ladder from there. definitely there are openings if you bother to look for it.

social influence? go with the flow, but do not lose your uniqueness while doing it.

=====

back to the two youngsters. i used to think, people who die because of BGR problems are really stupid. until recently. because we will never know the other factors that are pushing them that much to the limits. i'm not saying you must pity them, just spare thought instead. but then to think about it, in a way it is nature's way of eliminating the weaker to make space for the stronger. so we must be strong in order to survive this world.

#1 law of nature: the strong survives.

with every fall and stumble, we grow stronger and better. provided it does not kill us.

We Can Survive!

as most might have known, i already left SAFRA and now freelancing here and there. like hopping in between Sakuraya and Dior. and of course random jobs that Li Yan calls me up for. Li Yan is actually the person in HR Factors that got me my job at SAFRA.

and as for my private life, i've been spending most of my time with my girl and also family. things are just fucked but, ah well. that's life.

it's just so godamnfriginghard to deny that i give my girl luck. i went to play Big Sweet Land at AMK ZoneX and also at Causeway Point Timezone with her for the first time in my whole life.

at AMK we managed to catch three small bears with about $20. they are now sitting at the head of my bed. i thought that was all for the streak of luck we had with such machines that day. cause at CWP, we spent $5 or so getting nothing, NOTHING at all. not even sweets. until the 10th try (read: $9.50) girl aimed for a small Dale (palm sized) and hit the checker giving us a jackpot for the big prize.

all the players were just plain stunned. their seats were all already hot and we were just barely warming the seats at our side. not to mention the uncle next to us who grabbed 2 full sized Cadbury chocolate bars like it was nothing. spent a few more bucks trying to get the Dale but failed. =x

later on we found out at Mini Toons that the Dale was worth $8.90. so if you asked me, our loot was definitely worth it (excluding all the sweets).

the three bears we caught earlier is bigger than my hand, easily costing $13-$15 each. the Stitch jackpot could have easily costed $40 considering the size (pics are on my FB profile, will upload bear pics soon).

nothing else much major to update other than this.

oh, grats Kitty. =)

and you never changed. since the day i met you, you've been the same through.
always wanting things the way you want them to. and when you fail to, you'd just kick up a fuss.

i missed holding you in my arms, but since the day you proved our relationship to be so weak to depend on, i should have started to give up missing that feeling. the sound of your breathing right in my ears when i held you so tight. the way your arms wrapped around me.

while we used to lean on each other for support, now we're just strangers wandering alone in the crowd.

who am i to keep you from moving forward? i was never important in your life. considering how you made certain decisions so easily.

you said you loved me and that those words were true. but you never realised how much those words meant to me. despite how your actions always proved otherwise. the habits that you picked up along the way of your life. i tried to accept them, but you never did for me.

while i did let you down, you gave me much more disappointment than you ever knew.
because so many things that were done, you never ever took notice of them. because you simply took them for granted.
and you still remain the same. you'd never grow up would you?
despite how much you say you know, the one who never saw the real world was you. and the people around you are equally delusional. it's a fact. people who think that they can think for themselves. thinking so big, so far, but always overlook reality. because nobody around you really experienced it. reality is so much more than the strawberry garden that you all live in.

then and now, you're still an empty shell.

===

on a side note, people these days seem to like to think that the spotlight's on them. even though it isn't, just simply looks like it. the ability to have such skills of assumption is simply AMAZING.

like the other day i was on the train just daydreaming along to my music. this ah beng just goes "ehh *censored*! what the *censored* are you looking at? you where not happy?!". simply laughable. but i always like this kind of people, early morning entertainment for the commuters, they will love my response and his reaction.
my response? (while with a COMPLETELY straight face) "i looking at your mouth, quite nice ah... my *censored* abit the not happy ah.. then i was just wondering if you are able to make it happy" (tag a gay-ish voice to this sentence) and tada! he walked away blushing while people were laughing at him. win.

i definitely love people who assume. always never fail to make my day. =D